Sometimes You Just Can't Win...

So on this fine Saturday, I was bored and decided I wanted a new video game.  I could just download a game from the PlayStation Store to my PS3, but I'm old fashioned and prefer to buy my games on Blu-ray Disc.  IDK, there's just something about having the box and the manual and it being a tangible disc that I like.  The problem with this is that I wanted a game to play TODAY, so ordering from Amazon was out of the question.

After pondering for a while, I had the idea to check out if Walmart carried it.  Low and behold, Walmart did have it, and said "available for store pick-up TODAY."  "Perfect," I thought.  So I went ahead and ordered it for store pickup.

I arrived at Walmart about 3 hours later, and went back to the Walmart.com pick-up counter.  The lady pulls up my order, and goes to find the game.  Naturally God wouldn't have it any other way - they did not have the game.  She even went into the back to see if it was still in the loading dock, with no luck.  I asked her " So what were we going to do about this?"  She went and got her manager.  When the manager came out, she starts telling me "Yeah the system wasn't updated and we don't actually have it.  They already cancelled the order and refunded your money."  I was like "...how was I supposed to know this?"  Then this lady got super sassy with me (and I don't mean like gay BFF sassy, I mean like true bitch sassy) and says "Well you just gotta check your email and do whatever it says. Do what it tells you.  I can't do nothing about it."

Seeing as I was going to get nowhere with that cunt, I took a seat and called the Walmart.com customer support number.  After explaining what was going on, the guy gives me some long winded explanation about how Walmart stores and Walmart.com are two different entities and their systems are not synchronized, which is why the website said it was in stock when it was not actually in stock.  He says "Let me see if any other nearby Walmart has the item..."  He puts me on hold for 5 minutes.  When he comes back, he tells me a Walmart 20 miles away has it.  I said "look, THIS Walmart that I'm sitting in supposedly had the game in stock.  I came in today to buy a game so I could go home and play it.  I'm not driving all over goddamn creation, especially with the way your system works.  Can I just go choose a different game off the shelf?"  He tells me I can't since the order was automatically cancelled, so I would have to go find a game that's in stock and pay for it at the store.

So I go and find another game, but it is only available used.  I've never bought a used game before, but this was the only other game they had that I really wanted, so I said fuck it I'm just gonna go with this.  I then realized I didn't actually have the credit card that I used for the online order with me.  I ask a sales associate if I can make a new store-pickup order for this game (since that credit card was saved in my online account).  They said they weren't sure, but we could go up to the Customer Service desk at the front of the store to see if it could be done.

After walking all the way up there, that customer service person said they had no way to do it, but I could go back to the Walmart.com pick-up desk to see if they could do it.  Walking all the way back there (I'm really not exaggerating, it is literally all the way in the back of the store and this store is bigger than Paris Hilton's vagina), I repeat my story, and they said yes that's fine, but I would have to wait an additional 30 minutes for the order to come through to them before I could leave with the game.  I asked to see a different manager, so they went to get him.  I waited 15 minutes for this guy to appear.  When he finally comes out I tell him my story, but he gives me basically the same lecture about how Walmart and Walmart.com are two different things and such.  I said "look, I just want to go home and play my damn game, how can we do this?"  He was very nice and said "if you pay for the item here instead of ordering it on the website, I can give you a discount and you'll be out of here in five minutes."  Finally, I thought my ordeal was over.  He gave me the game for half the listed price and I just paid with cash (which is supposed to be my food money which is why I wanted to order it with a credit card in the first place).  After spending over an hour in Walmart, I finally have a game and I head home.

When I got home, I popped the disc in my PS3, opened a can of Coca-Cola, and propped my feet up.  I get the customary "Installing, Please Wait" screen...  But the bar never moves.  I try to quit the game and retry, but the PS3 is now frozen, so I have to unplug it to reset it.  I take the game out, clean it off, and try again.  The same thing happens again.  I repeat this process four more times, before finally giving up.  Turns out (according to the internet) that this is a widespread problem with the game, usually having to do with a scratched disc.  Even the slightest imperfection fucks up this particular game's installation process.  Why this game is so finicky I don't know, I have other games that are more scratched up than the arms of a cat person but they still work just fine.  Upon closer inspection, I notice there is a TINY little scratch on this game disc.  Why didn't they verify that the game worked before reselling it!?!?  Never again will I buy a used game.

So here I am, $20 poorer, after literally wasting my whole night at Walmart trying to get a goddamn game, and now the goddamn game that I would up with simply refuses to work.  Sometimes, you just can't win.

Funland a.k.a. Gettysburg College

Alright, I know you're disappointed in me.  "Where have you been the past three weeks," I'm sure you're thinking.  Well, I just haven't had my muse, which has made it impossible to write.  Fret no more, your prayers have been answered - here is a lengthy (oh baby) new post to satisfy your need for the T.  Now that that's out of the way, let me tell you about a trip I took a few weeks back.

I went to Gettysburg College to visit a friend and go to an drag show being put on by their LGBT group.  And to be honest, I really didn't expect much.  I was expecting a shitty party with a handful of people and a few butch guys trying to walk in heels.

Turns out, my expectations were shattered.  But first, let's start from the top.  After driving through the middle of nowhere, I arrived to find FREE PARKING.  If you don't live in the city, you probably take this for granted.  Free parking is as amazing as Lady Gaga simultaneously riding a unicorn and a disco stick.  Like seriously, in downtown Baltimore it's $2 per hour, and that's if you're even lucky enough to find a goddamn space.

We were hungry, so we went to their cafeteria for dinner.  This place is affectionately known as "Servo," and it puts the FFC to shame.  First thing I noticed, is how normal all the kids looked.  Like, everybody was just your typical average American college kid.  Nobody had that pretentious air of "I'm finding a cure for cancer with my research grant snarky snark snark" which most Hopkins kids seem to have.  It was just so refreshing to be in an environment where I didn't feel completely inferior to everyone.  And furthermore, these kids were HAPPY.  Like they were just generally happy to be alive.  I didn't realize such happiness was a real thing at college.

Once I got over looking at the happy people, I turned my attention to the food...  Behold! All the food was instantly recognizable!!  On this particular night, the appetizers included dumplings, chicken sammiches, and enchiladas.  And let me tell you, the dumplings they had were better than any Chinese restaurant in Baltimore.

**Side note - You know I love Charm City, but why the hell isn't there a single decent Chinese restaurant in this city??  Like seriously I have yet to find a half-decent Chinese place.  If you know of any PLEASE tell me!  This Jew needs his Chinese food fix.

Anyways, back to Servo.  For the dinner section, they had BBQ ribs, au gratin potatoes, and green beans.  Like OMFG, food that I actually know what it is!!!  I haven't been back to the FFC in 3 years, largely because I never knew what the fuck they were serving.  All I ever ate at the FFC was pizza and cereal, because those were the only two familar foods they had.  Like seriously, they were always experimenting with some weird-ass ethnic food and shit.  This is America goddammit, if I wanted that crap they call food I'd go to some third world country.

Anyways, then after dinner we went to the drag show.  Gettysburg College has a nightclub on campus.  Like step back for a moment and let that sink in.  They have a FUCKING NIGHTCLUB on campus.  And it is LEGIT.  It has a stage and an awesome light system and a big dance floor and A BAR.  A BAR THAT SERVES ALCOHOL.  Now granted, I don't drink, but still.  A LEGITIMATE BAR ON CAMPUS.  Like no wonder everybody at this place seems so fucking happy.  And once the show started, holy crap.  They actually hired REAL drag performers from Philly.  The show was fucking fantastic!!  One of the queens did a set of Whitney Houston - I still cannot explain how I didn't completely lose my composure for that one.

Moral of the story is that while Hopkins is an incredible academic environment, if you want to have a well-rounded college experience that doesn't make you wish that one of the crazy Baltimore City bus drivers would run you over, you should go somewhere else.  And Gettysburg would be a great choice.