Alright, I know you're disappointed in me. "Where have you been the past three weeks," I'm sure you're thinking. Well, I just haven't had my muse, which has made it impossible to write. Fret no more, your prayers have been answered - here is a lengthy (oh baby) new post to satisfy your need for the T. Now that that's out of the way, let me tell you about a trip I took a few weeks back.
I went to Gettysburg College to visit a friend and go to an drag show being put on by their LGBT group. And to be honest, I really didn't expect much. I was expecting a shitty party with a handful of people and a few butch guys trying to walk in heels.
Turns out, my expectations were shattered. But first, let's start from the top. After driving through the middle of nowhere, I arrived to find FREE PARKING. If you don't live in the city, you probably take this for granted. Free parking is as amazing as Lady Gaga simultaneously riding a unicorn and a disco stick. Like seriously, in downtown Baltimore it's $2 per hour, and that's if you're even lucky enough to find a goddamn space.
We were hungry, so we went to their cafeteria for dinner. This place is affectionately known as "Servo," and it puts the FFC to shame. First thing I noticed, is how normal all the kids looked. Like, everybody was just your typical average American college kid. Nobody had that pretentious air of "I'm finding a cure for cancer with my research grant snarky snark snark" which most Hopkins kids seem to have. It was just so refreshing to be in an environment where I didn't feel completely inferior to everyone. And furthermore, these kids were HAPPY. Like they were just generally happy to be alive. I didn't realize such happiness was a real thing at college.
Once I got over looking at the happy people, I turned my attention to the food... Behold! All the food was instantly recognizable!! On this particular night, the appetizers included dumplings, chicken sammiches, and enchiladas. And let me tell you, the dumplings they had were better than any Chinese restaurant in Baltimore.
**Side note - You know I love Charm City, but why the hell isn't there a single decent Chinese restaurant in this city?? Like seriously I have yet to find a half-decent Chinese place. If you know of any PLEASE tell me! This Jew needs his Chinese food fix.
Anyways, back to Servo. For the dinner section, they had BBQ ribs, au gratin potatoes, and green beans. Like OMFG, food that I actually know what it is!!! I haven't been back to the FFC in 3 years, largely because I never knew what the fuck they were serving. All I ever ate at the FFC was pizza and cereal, because those were the only two familar foods they had. Like seriously, they were always experimenting with some weird-ass ethnic food and shit. This is America goddammit, if I wanted that crap they call food I'd go to some third world country.
Anyways, then after dinner we went to the drag show. Gettysburg College has a nightclub on campus. Like step back for a moment and let that sink in. They have a FUCKING NIGHTCLUB on campus. And it is LEGIT. It has a stage and an awesome light system and a big dance floor and A BAR. A BAR THAT SERVES ALCOHOL. Now granted, I don't drink, but still. A LEGITIMATE BAR ON CAMPUS. Like no wonder everybody at this place seems so fucking happy. And once the show started, holy crap. They actually hired REAL drag performers from Philly. The show was fucking fantastic!! One of the queens did a set of Whitney Houston - I still cannot explain how I didn't completely lose my composure for that one.
Moral of the story is that while Hopkins is an incredible academic environment, if you want to have a well-rounded college experience that doesn't make you wish that one of the crazy Baltimore City bus drivers would run you over, you should go somewhere else. And Gettysburg would be a great choice.
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