I got home from classes later that day at around 3 PM, and I was fucking exhausted. Like I was more tired than Selena after spending the night at Justin's house. So when I got to my room, I changed into my pajamas and crawled into bed. It was the most beautiful moment of my entire life. My bed literally felt better than seeing the look on a Democrat's face after a tax-reduction victory for the American people.
And then Hopkins struck. "ALERT. THERE HAS BEEN A FIRE EMERGENCY IN THE BUILDING. PLEASE EXIT IMMEDIATELY BY THE NEAREST STAIRWELL." In my state of half-consciousness I was like "what the fuckkk???". Then I realized that Hopkins must have been tipped off about my nap and that this was actually happening. I jumped out of bed, grabbed all the earthly possessions I could, and headed out of my room to climb down 12 GODDAMN FLIGHTS of stairs.
*Sidenote: Since there was an ACTUAL fire in the building last year, you never know whether it is just a drill or if one of the brilliant youths has lit their mattress on fire again. Hopkins kids are supposed to be smart, right? Some fucking idiot actually tried their hardest to burn down the building last year by leaving a "cigarette" (because HEAVENS NO a Hopkins student would NEVER be caught with marijuana) on their bed. During this incident we were prevented from re-entering the building for 7 HOURS. Also all of the floors below the 9th floor were completely flooded from the sprinklers that went off... The flood also broke both elevators and they were out of order for 8 days after the incident. Moral of this story: Hopkins kids are literally fucking retarded.
Back to my story, after descending from the stratospheric height of the 12th floor, we are forced to wait outside in the rain for 15 minutes. Mind you I'm literally in my pajamas and an undershirt. All the RAs are barking orders at us to clear the sidewalk and go to the other side of the street. Umm, excuse me? Do you know who the fuck I am? I am not going to the other side of the goddamn street, I am waiting right here in front of the building with a scowl on my face until your stupid little event is over. The RAs all think they're so fucking superior during these drills, it's as if they actually believe they have authority over us. It's kind of cute actually like awwww look at the little sad people trying to assert authority. I only respect the authority of the Baltimore Police and Fire Departments, thank you very much.
*Sidenote 2: What is the point of fire drills?? Like seriously, it is not that difficult of a concept to master. When the alarm goes off you grab your shit and leave. It really does not require practice. If some people don't know what to do when the fire alarm goes off, then that is just natural selection at work. As a matter of fact, fire drills endanger people more than they help people, because in the event of an actual fire emergency people will think "oh this is just another stupid fire drill designed to ruin my day, I don't actually need to leave." If you REALLY want to make sure kids know what to do, please just have the fire drill at the very beginning of the school year when it's not a mid-October surprise. My message to the administration is simple:
Anyways, as you can probably imagine, this fire drill totally killed my nap. When we were finally let back into the building, my nap mood was gone. I was still exhausted as fuck, but I couldn't fall back asleep.
Good job Hopkins, another successful attempt to ruin my day. Bravo, I hope you bastards enjoyed it.
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