Okay so this is gonna be a really long story and it's not as funny and sarcastic as my posts usually are, but I swear to God it's a true story and it's pretty ridiculous. I spent the first two months of the summer here at JHU taking math classes (ughhhhh tell me about it). At one point during the summer, my sister who's still in high school came here for a couple weeks. So being the cool brother/sister pair that we are, we made plans to go out for dinner one day.
When that day came, I was tired as fuck after going to my fucking 9 am class (why on God's green Earth does the Registrar schedule summer classes at 9 am??), so I decided to climb back into my bed and take a nap. And naturally I overslept. So my sister showed up at the turnstiles in Charles Commons to meet me at our planned time, but I was dead to the world and my phone ringer was off so I had no idea she was here. My poor sister tried calling me for an hour and then she got nervous thinking something had happened to me. So she approached the security people at the desk in Commons and explained the situation to them and asked if they could please go upstairs to check on me to make sure I hadn't died or something. They legit told her "no we can't do anything, you have to call him." Like are these people stupid? She literally sat on the bench in front of them for an hour trying to call me unsuccessfully. Like what the fuck are they even here for? Anyways, my patient sister waited another half hour and then called our dad and explained the situation to him, so he became concerned. When she told him that our wonderful security refused to help her in any way, he was furious and called the security office himself. After he read them the riot act, they agreed to send an officer up to check my room.
When the security officer came, my temporary summer roommate answered the door. They asked him if he'd seen me today and he simply said "no" (this kid literally never talked to me the entire summer. IDK what the fuck his deal was like he such a hermit he even made me look like a social butterfly, but that's another story lol). So what does the security person do? They simply take his word for it and leave!!
When the security person came back downstairs they told my sister (who had our dad on the phone) that I wasn't in my room. My dad was like "did you check his room?" and the security person was like "nah just I asked his roommate." My dad literally had to tell this idiot "Would you go back up and actually check his room?" Like I swear to God IDK how some people survive in this world. So finally, they came back up and actually knocked on my bedroom door which woke me up, and that's basically the end of the story.
The reason I want to bitch about this anecdote here is to highlight the sheer incompetence of these security people. Like first of all, Hopkins pays two people to sit at the desk in Commons 24 hours a day to do absolutely nothing. Like why the fuck am I even getting an education? I could just get a job as a Hopkins security person and get paid to sit at a desk all day and do nothing except play Angry Birds on my phone. Second of all, they gave zero fucks about me or my sister's concern. Like even if they truly had no authority to do anything, they could have at least given her the phone number for the security office to have her take it up with them. They literally were just like "sorry there's nothing we can do."
Granted, there are some exceptional people in the Hopkins Security department. Officer Ramirez is great. He once helped me with my A/C when it wasn't working. Like if you ever need anything he is the guy you want to find. Also back in sophomore year, Ms. Trenda in McCoy was my gurl! She was hilarious and sweet and actually gave a fuck about the wellbeing of her residents. The security guy on the morning shift in Commons is also very nice, he always talks about the Orioles with me. So I don't want to paint the whole department as bad. I just think it's absolutely ridiculous how the personnel present that night handled the situation, and it makes me wonder what would happen in the event (God forbid) that something tragic actually did happen to a resident?
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