McBreakfast

You know, most companies try to make it easy for their customers to come and spend money at their stores.  McDonald's obviously doesn't believe in this business strategy.  For some reason unbeknownst to me, the top brass at McCorporate think that timing the availability of McBreakfast so that it's impossible to ever get to is a good idea.  This is my plea to them.

Why do you time breakfast from 5:00 AM to 10:30 AM???  It is impossible to ever make it.  I often try to convince myself that I can stay up all night to get McBreakfast when the local McFranchise opens at 5:00, but inevitably every time I attempt this I realize at about 4:30 that I'm fucking tired and I need sleep more than a McGriddle.  Some people might say, "well why don't you just wake up before 10:30?"  Well, unlike some insane people, I am not and never will be a morning person.  It is impossible to will myself to wake up and get out of bed any time earlier than noon for something where my attendance isn't absolutely required.

I love McBreakfast.  The Steak Egg & Cheese Bagel is literally the greatest breakfast sammich in the history of this beautiful nation (I swear to God this is not hyperbole.  If you haven't ever had a SE&C Bagel, you are missing a culinary experience that is more euphoric than the use of narcotics).  And McDonald's Hash Browns?  They are literally the best use of the potato in the entire world.  I really don't think it's unreasonable for McDonald's to serve breakfast until noon every day.  McDonald's, NOBODY wants a fucking hamburger at 10:30 AM!!!